Healing Myself
by Cora Schenberg
My family and I had ample time to ponder bikur cholim this past year. For some six months, we played host to a woman who managed to contract mononucleosis at the tender age of 51.
It wasn’t easy—what mitzvah is? Try as we did to remind our charge that mono does go away and is not life-threatening, bad days found her irritable, depressed, even obsessed with her mortality. I felt I’d have been a more patient caregiver if I could have had the occasional break from my charge. However, this was impossible, since she and I are one and the same person.
I’m not one who believes God sends us tsurus in order to teach us, or that suffering of any kind is inherently a gift. However, I do believe that through the help of God and of our loved ones, we might find learning, and perhaps gifts, in anything life throws at us. In that spirit, I set out to learn what our tradition might teach us about living with an illness.
I found lots written on bikur cholim, but little, if anything, on how to live with one’s own illness, major or minor, temporary or chronic. This seemed understandable. Who among us would not rather take care of others in need, than deal with an ill, cranky self? So when I thought of looking after myself, it came with conditions: I’ll do it as long as I look after others first, as long as I do my part in the world, as long as I don’t get lazy and self-indulgent. Which is why, for the first months of my illness, I tried to will it away. I went to work, kept extra-curricular and family commitments, exercised.
The problem was, I now hated all those things. I only loved sleeping, or at most, lying in bed with a book or a movie on DVD. I felt frustrated with myself for my lack of energy, which in turn made me even more tired. By the end of the semester, I could barely stand up. Fortunately, the academic schedule comes with a good, long break. I spent the month of May on the couch, being little more than cat furniture.
That’s when I had time to ponder what our tradition might tell us about living with illness. I found that while God does not send an owner’s manual along with our bodies, much of our traditional texts send a clear message in favor of self-care.
Our daily prayers testify to the imperative to care for our bodies. Each morning, in the “Asher yatzar” prayer, we give thanks for our bodies’ proper functioning. In an online piece on “Healthy Perspectives,” Rabbi Berel Wein reminds us that the human body, “wondrous and complicated and exact as it is, … is also very fragile and delicate. Everything must work correctly for us to feel healthy and good.” The rabbi reminds us that even “the slightest nagging pain or even relatively minor discomfort affects our mood and our creativity and sense of worth.” I often thought of these words as I struggled with frustration and depression over not being able to do what I usually could, at having forgotten what it felt like to be healthy.
Following the “yatzar” prayer, we thank God for making us “bezalmo,” in God’s image. I asked myself how can we be like God, if God is incorporeal? Where does the body fit in? It occurred to me that without our bodies, it would not be possible to house the soul that God gave us. Our capacity for humility, compassion, discernment, wisdom and all the other soul traits we are commanded to cultivate, is possible only when we inhabit our bodies. This underscores the need to care for these houses of our being.
One more example of many: when the Chevra Kadisha prepares a body ritually for burial, it is traditional to praise the departed’s body in words from the Song of Solomon. We read, “Behold thou art fair,” “thou hast doves' eyes within thy locks,” “thy lips are like a thread of scarlet.” If we lavish such praise on a body wasted in death, does not the living body deserve the same, if not greater, love?
These teachings did not make me less cranky or more patient with my illness. However, they provided gentle encouragement when I decided to give my body, finally, the rest it needed. Rest, which led me toward healing – in a testimony to the innate intelligence of our bodies, what we crave is sometimes what we need most.
In caring for my body, I learned that healing is an active, not a passive, process. For the well person, an active day involves being physically occupied, not lying around. For the healing person, however, the opposite is often true. Only in rest is the body able to occupy itself with fixing what the illness has broken. I learned that when refusing the necessary rest, the energy that would have gone into my healing went into whatever activity I ordered my body to do. I had to accept the fact that this was an either/or situation: heal and rest, or push and delay healing.
I was reminded of the time my step-brother, Art Ritter, went through treatment for Hodgkins Lymphoma. Always an active man, Art planned to work through his chemo therapy treatments. He soon realized this was not possible; he could not even concentrate on a book or a television show during these times. Rather than focus on what he could not do, Art sought out what he could. He discovered he could gain comfort from listening to music while lying down. Between chemo treatments, Art told us how Beethoven’s compositions occupied his mind and gave him emotional strength during these most trying weeks. Seven years later, Art walks and trains participants in annual marathons to raise money to combat leukemia and lymphoma. He can be active now because he gave his body the gift of healing then.
As to the lady with mono, God must have gotten tired of her nudging, for by July, she – I should say I – was healed. I no longer needed afternoon naps, could teach, study, write, daven, exercise. Swimming in our neighborhood pool with the sun streaming down, I felt as if a thousand-pound weight had been lifted from my shoulders. I thanked God for the restoring of my health, for making the complex network that is my body function smoothly again, so it could glide, with moderate effort, through the miracle of light-infused water.
September 2009 "Wrestle"
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Monday, August 31, 2009
Wrestling with God
The theme of Chapter 8 of Ron Wolfson’s God’s To-Do List is “Wrestle,” or to be more specific, Wrestling with God. He writes of the ways in which wrestling with God can and does come in many forms. Patriarch Abraham wrestles with his words, hurling ethical conundrums with the practiced aplomb of a philosopher and, while adopting the affect of a deferential supplicant, skillfully wheedles his own moral standards into God’s plans. Skip a generation and the morally flawed Jacob, also a biblical hero, wrestles quite literally by engaging in hand-to-hand combat in a fight for physical supremacy.
The unwritten subtext of this discussion is that the need to wrestle with God most often comes about as the result of another “w” word: why. We wonder why, and in so doing, we wrestle with God, with our faith, with our spirituality. Knowing what we know about human nature, this makes sense. In times when the world around us seems particularly tumultuous, a personal relationship with God is often a source of comfort. One of the primary reasons that people take the time to develop a personal relationship with God in the first place is to feel a little bit less alone in the unreliable, unpredictable, topsy-turvy place we call home. Yet ironically, it is precisely in the times of our greatest need, the times when we don’t get what we want, when we experience the most profound tragedies and the greatest sorrows, that a little bell starts to peal madly in our heads and we begin to question the very foundation on which we have carefully crafted our own sense of stability. These questions are broadly lumped into the term “questions of faith” and can be seen as a desire to understand why certain things have befallen us. Often inevitable, then, is the question: why has this tragedy/strife/confusion/struggle befallen me and why has God abandoned me and allowed it to happen?
While some religious philosophers would be aghast, this does not concern Wolfson. Instead, he encourages a wrestling match with God. You should not fear asking questions of God, of confronting God with the injustices that have fallen at your feet, so his argument goes, because God can handle it. Wrestling is not a precarious foray into an atheist abyss, but an unavoidable feature of any close relationship. You will come away a changed person. Having trusted God to be there with you through your struggle and leading you to a life of blessing, you will be stronger.
Surely part of the reason that Shelby asked me to share my thoughts on this chapter is because I have (somewhat publicly) had my own wrestling match this summer. Many of you who know me know that over the course of this summer, I have been dealt with another morally neutral, yet emotionally-ambiguous “w” word: the law school Waiting List. I call this particular institution – and for those who are unfamiliar, it certainly is its own institution with its own rules, protocol and etiquette – morally neutral because it is neither a good thing nor a bad thing, in the sense that it is neither a rejection nor an acceptance. It is emotionally-ambiguous because it walks the spectrum from joyful glee when it turns into an acceptance on one end, to the numbing pain of rejection on the other. Each day that hangs in the balance is something that is just that, in the middle.
I’ve heard from many people that they don’t envy my position, the ambiguity, and the risks of playing the odds. All things being equal, I’d also be just as happy to have certainty on my side. The struggle is in knowing that while I may have God on my side, that does not guarantee the outcome I want. And while I know that there are people out there whose sorrows make my struggles look comparatively negligible, this has been a struggle. Especially because mine is a waiting game where patience is a virtue that is not necessarily rewarded with anything at the end. Because though my faith seems so certain when I am in a position where I am thanking God for my good fortune, at exactly the time when my relationship with God is most important (ie. in a time when I need all the stability I can get), it’s hard not to wonder why unfortunate things happen to good people.
Wolfson’s chapter doesn’t give an answer to this question. I take more comfort from the answer I find for myself in the anecdotes about good people who wrestle with God as the direct result of some unthinkable tragedy. They struggle. They wrestle. They do not overcome, they do not forget, but they move forward. Tumble headlong into the wrestling match, Wolfson seems to exhort, and this is the advice I take. Embrace the uncertainty, it is okay to question, to be unsure. At the very moment when slamming the proverbial door into God’s face seems like it is the most prudent course of action, I know that I am not alone. Everyone struggles at one point or another. So I will argue with God, reason with God, question God. It takes two to tango, and two to converse – I am not alone.
So I urge you too, in times when you are unsure and want to shrug away that which is most familiar, to question, argue and wrestle. But as you trudge across the beach, just remember not to be too surprised when you turn around and find two sets of footprints in the sand. – Robbie Rogart, Camp CBI Counselor and Sunday School Teacher
The unwritten subtext of this discussion is that the need to wrestle with God most often comes about as the result of another “w” word: why. We wonder why, and in so doing, we wrestle with God, with our faith, with our spirituality. Knowing what we know about human nature, this makes sense. In times when the world around us seems particularly tumultuous, a personal relationship with God is often a source of comfort. One of the primary reasons that people take the time to develop a personal relationship with God in the first place is to feel a little bit less alone in the unreliable, unpredictable, topsy-turvy place we call home. Yet ironically, it is precisely in the times of our greatest need, the times when we don’t get what we want, when we experience the most profound tragedies and the greatest sorrows, that a little bell starts to peal madly in our heads and we begin to question the very foundation on which we have carefully crafted our own sense of stability. These questions are broadly lumped into the term “questions of faith” and can be seen as a desire to understand why certain things have befallen us. Often inevitable, then, is the question: why has this tragedy/strife/confusion/struggle befallen me and why has God abandoned me and allowed it to happen?
While some religious philosophers would be aghast, this does not concern Wolfson. Instead, he encourages a wrestling match with God. You should not fear asking questions of God, of confronting God with the injustices that have fallen at your feet, so his argument goes, because God can handle it. Wrestling is not a precarious foray into an atheist abyss, but an unavoidable feature of any close relationship. You will come away a changed person. Having trusted God to be there with you through your struggle and leading you to a life of blessing, you will be stronger.
Surely part of the reason that Shelby asked me to share my thoughts on this chapter is because I have (somewhat publicly) had my own wrestling match this summer. Many of you who know me know that over the course of this summer, I have been dealt with another morally neutral, yet emotionally-ambiguous “w” word: the law school Waiting List. I call this particular institution – and for those who are unfamiliar, it certainly is its own institution with its own rules, protocol and etiquette – morally neutral because it is neither a good thing nor a bad thing, in the sense that it is neither a rejection nor an acceptance. It is emotionally-ambiguous because it walks the spectrum from joyful glee when it turns into an acceptance on one end, to the numbing pain of rejection on the other. Each day that hangs in the balance is something that is just that, in the middle.
I’ve heard from many people that they don’t envy my position, the ambiguity, and the risks of playing the odds. All things being equal, I’d also be just as happy to have certainty on my side. The struggle is in knowing that while I may have God on my side, that does not guarantee the outcome I want. And while I know that there are people out there whose sorrows make my struggles look comparatively negligible, this has been a struggle. Especially because mine is a waiting game where patience is a virtue that is not necessarily rewarded with anything at the end. Because though my faith seems so certain when I am in a position where I am thanking God for my good fortune, at exactly the time when my relationship with God is most important (ie. in a time when I need all the stability I can get), it’s hard not to wonder why unfortunate things happen to good people.
Wolfson’s chapter doesn’t give an answer to this question. I take more comfort from the answer I find for myself in the anecdotes about good people who wrestle with God as the direct result of some unthinkable tragedy. They struggle. They wrestle. They do not overcome, they do not forget, but they move forward. Tumble headlong into the wrestling match, Wolfson seems to exhort, and this is the advice I take. Embrace the uncertainty, it is okay to question, to be unsure. At the very moment when slamming the proverbial door into God’s face seems like it is the most prudent course of action, I know that I am not alone. Everyone struggles at one point or another. So I will argue with God, reason with God, question God. It takes two to tango, and two to converse – I am not alone.
So I urge you too, in times when you are unsure and want to shrug away that which is most familiar, to question, argue and wrestle. But as you trudge across the beach, just remember not to be too surprised when you turn around and find two sets of footprints in the sand. – Robbie Rogart, Camp CBI Counselor and Sunday School Teacher
Sunday, April 5, 2009
CBI Member Allison MacDonald's thoughts on "Call"
Calling. This is our topic in Chapter 4 of "God's To Do List", and I find myself a bit overwhelmed when thinking about being called, what to, what for, how and why and what it all means. Is it the daily calling of being calm, mindful and careful in my routines, in my relationships and in my heart? Is it a "larger" calling of what God is asking of me, and how I can hear this? I sense that the answers to my questions differ depending on where I am in my life, what is going on, and what stage my family is in- one challenge is finding today's and this year's answer.I do find myself wondering how my husband and I are called differently. He is a practicing Episcopalian and feels that his calling is heard when he can open his heart to God. Opening his heart takes honesty, clarity, strength and trust, as it does for me. When my heart is open, often when in nature or at temple, I can feel what God may want for and from me. Although we follow different religions, I feel that the importance of hearing God's calls is in our hearts and am thankful when we take the time to listen. This kind of listening is much more difficult than hearing the daily calls of giving to others, being the parent that I want to be, staying in touch with family (mom!) and friends and getting snacks for all. More difficult, but so freeing and a blessing.So off I go for the easy calls, muffins in the oven (with chocolate chips).
Chapter 4 - Call April 2009
Chapter 4, Call is our chapter of the month. As in past months, we encourage members of our congregation to read or reread this chapter. We seek, in this way, to promote a concept of community learning and doing as we learn from each other’s stories, share ideas, and extend our sense of connection to one another and Jewish tradition. A reminder, if you have not yet received a copy of this book, you may pick up one of the few remaining copies at the CBI office.
Chapter 4, Call, asks us to think about who we are and where we are in our relationship with God. This chapter poses many questions for us to ponder. Are we listening? Do we hear when that "still, small voice" asks us to do the right thing? Do we respond when God calls? Are we choosing to be God’s partner?
This chapter invites us to consider how the purpose of life is to serve God. This concept encompasses our relationship with others. It induces us to ask: "Are we listening when our family, friends, and neighbors call?" Do we answer, “Hineini – Here I am,” as Moses did? "Are we reaching out to others as much as we would like?"
It’s not always easy to hear God’s call or to hear the call of our loved ones or neighbors. The concept of calling encourages us to listen a little more carefully both to the calls that come from outside us and to the calls that comes from our hearts.
What is God calling you to do?
Ideas for God’s To-Do List – Call
1. Call your parents, spouse, children, siblings, aunts and uncles, cousins, and friends – just to check in.
2. Practice hearing. Listen to a loved on or a colleague speak, and don’t interrupt.
3. Return messages and e-mails from others as soon as possible. They are calling you.
4. Respect questions from others, and respond as patiently and thoughtfully as you would want others to respond to you.
5. Consider the question "Where am I?" regularly.
6. Call your congressperson about a cause you believe in. Call the president of the country to share how you feel about an issue [(202)456-1111 (comments) or (202)456-1414 (switchboard).]
7. Call your friends to join you in volunteering.
8. Study how biblical figures answer God’s call.
9. Listen for God’s call. You’ll know it when you hear it.
10. Respond to the call remembering that you are on a mission to do God’s work on earth.
Chapter 4, Call, asks us to think about who we are and where we are in our relationship with God. This chapter poses many questions for us to ponder. Are we listening? Do we hear when that "still, small voice" asks us to do the right thing? Do we respond when God calls? Are we choosing to be God’s partner?
This chapter invites us to consider how the purpose of life is to serve God. This concept encompasses our relationship with others. It induces us to ask: "Are we listening when our family, friends, and neighbors call?" Do we answer, “Hineini – Here I am,” as Moses did? "Are we reaching out to others as much as we would like?"
It’s not always easy to hear God’s call or to hear the call of our loved ones or neighbors. The concept of calling encourages us to listen a little more carefully both to the calls that come from outside us and to the calls that comes from our hearts.
What is God calling you to do?
Ideas for God’s To-Do List – Call
1. Call your parents, spouse, children, siblings, aunts and uncles, cousins, and friends – just to check in.
2. Practice hearing. Listen to a loved on or a colleague speak, and don’t interrupt.
3. Return messages and e-mails from others as soon as possible. They are calling you.
4. Respect questions from others, and respond as patiently and thoughtfully as you would want others to respond to you.
5. Consider the question "Where am I?" regularly.
6. Call your congressperson about a cause you believe in. Call the president of the country to share how you feel about an issue [(202)456-1111 (comments) or (202)456-1414 (switchboard).]
7. Call your friends to join you in volunteering.
8. Study how biblical figures answer God’s call.
9. Listen for God’s call. You’ll know it when you hear it.
10. Respond to the call remembering that you are on a mission to do God’s work on earth.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Thoughts on Rest for God’s To Do List
The Epstein Family
When Shelby asked us to write this month’s discussion of God’s To Do List chapter, “Rest”, I initially said to myself, “Uh oh, resting is not our forte, even on Shabbat!” But then, I got to thinking that a) we’re not alone in trying to balance a busy secular world and a meaningful Jewish life, and b) our family does rest on Shabbat, although to the untrained eye, it may not seem so.
During the week we, like many other families, race here and there, up route 29 and back several times a day. In truth, we love what we do during the week. Fred and I enjoy our work, Jay and Craig love their schools and their after school activities. Even so, when Friday comes, a collective sigh of relief comes to our family. Ahhh, Shabbat is coming.
Often, our Shabbat rest begins during services on Friday evenings—prayer and music, d’var and oneg, ideas to reflect on, melodies to carry home. From there, Shabbat rest takes many forms:
Shabbat rest is a quiet sunrise walk in Chautauqua, New York. The mist rising off the lake, the gentle lap of the water against the shore, and the distant tinker of cups and utensils in the Atheneum hotel kitchen as they prepared for breakfast allow for reflection, appreciation, and enjoyment of something truly beautiful.
Shabbat rest is sleep. As our children get older, we’re noticing that everybody sleeps in on Saturday mornings. This is the only morning of the week that we are afforded such a luxury. And what a luxury it is!
Shabbat rest is making (and eating) chocolate chip pancakes. Sure, I throw in wheat germ and whole wheat flour (when I think I can get away with it), but what’s most important is the handfuls and handfuls of melted chocolate in every bite.
Shabbat rest is spending time with family. Lighting the candles, saying the motzi, and enjoying Shabbat dinner together truly is something special. I think we all appreciate the time together. On Shabbat, we take long walks with the dogs. Jay and Craig spend much of the day together playing games, building forts in the woods, listening to music.
Shabbat rest comes after “Challah b’shesh!” In Jerusalem last year, we shopped at the Mahane Yehuda at about noon on Friday. It was bustling and incredible! Bakers selling challah for less and less as the afternoon went on. Mounds of nuts and delicious halvah. Fruits, cheeses, fish! The busyness of the market finally yielded to a quiet Shabbat dinner in our hotel room and a lovely, full-tummy Shabbat rest.
The enlightenment of reflection is motivation to learn more. For the next two months, our family will reflect more closely on what it means to rest and perhaps we’ll try a suggestion or two from God’s To Do List. How about you?
The Epstein Family
When Shelby asked us to write this month’s discussion of God’s To Do List chapter, “Rest”, I initially said to myself, “Uh oh, resting is not our forte, even on Shabbat!” But then, I got to thinking that a) we’re not alone in trying to balance a busy secular world and a meaningful Jewish life, and b) our family does rest on Shabbat, although to the untrained eye, it may not seem so.
During the week we, like many other families, race here and there, up route 29 and back several times a day. In truth, we love what we do during the week. Fred and I enjoy our work, Jay and Craig love their schools and their after school activities. Even so, when Friday comes, a collective sigh of relief comes to our family. Ahhh, Shabbat is coming.
Often, our Shabbat rest begins during services on Friday evenings—prayer and music, d’var and oneg, ideas to reflect on, melodies to carry home. From there, Shabbat rest takes many forms:
Shabbat rest is a quiet sunrise walk in Chautauqua, New York. The mist rising off the lake, the gentle lap of the water against the shore, and the distant tinker of cups and utensils in the Atheneum hotel kitchen as they prepared for breakfast allow for reflection, appreciation, and enjoyment of something truly beautiful.
Shabbat rest is sleep. As our children get older, we’re noticing that everybody sleeps in on Saturday mornings. This is the only morning of the week that we are afforded such a luxury. And what a luxury it is!
Shabbat rest is making (and eating) chocolate chip pancakes. Sure, I throw in wheat germ and whole wheat flour (when I think I can get away with it), but what’s most important is the handfuls and handfuls of melted chocolate in every bite.
Shabbat rest is spending time with family. Lighting the candles, saying the motzi, and enjoying Shabbat dinner together truly is something special. I think we all appreciate the time together. On Shabbat, we take long walks with the dogs. Jay and Craig spend much of the day together playing games, building forts in the woods, listening to music.
Shabbat rest comes after “Challah b’shesh!” In Jerusalem last year, we shopped at the Mahane Yehuda at about noon on Friday. It was bustling and incredible! Bakers selling challah for less and less as the afternoon went on. Mounds of nuts and delicious halvah. Fruits, cheeses, fish! The busyness of the market finally yielded to a quiet Shabbat dinner in our hotel room and a lovely, full-tummy Shabbat rest.
The enlightenment of reflection is motivation to learn more. For the next two months, our family will reflect more closely on what it means to rest and perhaps we’ll try a suggestion or two from God’s To Do List. How about you?
March is Chapter 3 - Rest!
This month, we encourage members of our congregation to read or reread Chapter 3 of God’s To-Do List. We seek, in this way, to promote a concept of community learning and doing as we learn from each other’s stories, share ideas, and extend our sense of connection to one another and Jewish tradition. If you have not yet received a copy of this book, you may pick one up at the CBI office.
Chapter 3, Rest, teaches us that rest restores our strength to continue to do God’s work. It also teaches us that the biblical notion of a Sabbath day is one of the greatest gifts given to humankind. “In an era where everyone in the family is exhausted from school, work, lessons, sports, and endless carpools, time off just to be together is one of the greatest gifts you can give each other.” God knows you need some rest – take it!
Ideas for God’s To-Do List – Rest
1. Give yourself a break – take a day off once a week.
2. Put aside your unfinished business and leave the world as it is on the Sabbath.
3. Turn off the computer and cell phone for twenty-four hours; the e-mail and voice mail can wait.
4. Take a walk; if you see flowers, stop and smell them.
5. Take a nap in the middle of the day on your day of rest.
6. Join your spiritual community at your place of worship on the day of rest.
7. Make sure your family and friends are getting rest – and if they’re not, offer them respite so they can take some time off.
8. Invite family and friends to share a Shabbat meal.
9. Pray, sing, study, snuggle – for a whole day!
10. Plan a vacation. Take it. Leave your laptop at home.
This month, we encourage members of our congregation to read or reread Chapter 3 of God’s To-Do List. We seek, in this way, to promote a concept of community learning and doing as we learn from each other’s stories, share ideas, and extend our sense of connection to one another and Jewish tradition. If you have not yet received a copy of this book, you may pick one up at the CBI office.
Chapter 3, Rest, teaches us that rest restores our strength to continue to do God’s work. It also teaches us that the biblical notion of a Sabbath day is one of the greatest gifts given to humankind. “In an era where everyone in the family is exhausted from school, work, lessons, sports, and endless carpools, time off just to be together is one of the greatest gifts you can give each other.” God knows you need some rest – take it!
Ideas for God’s To-Do List – Rest
1. Give yourself a break – take a day off once a week.
2. Put aside your unfinished business and leave the world as it is on the Sabbath.
3. Turn off the computer and cell phone for twenty-four hours; the e-mail and voice mail can wait.
4. Take a walk; if you see flowers, stop and smell them.
5. Take a nap in the middle of the day on your day of rest.
6. Join your spiritual community at your place of worship on the day of rest.
7. Make sure your family and friends are getting rest – and if they’re not, offer them respite so they can take some time off.
8. Invite family and friends to share a Shabbat meal.
9. Pray, sing, study, snuggle – for a whole day!
10. Plan a vacation. Take it. Leave your laptop at home.
Friday, January 23, 2009
Blessings in our own life
For the months of January and February we have been focusing on the idea of "Blessing" inspired by the book God's To Do List. This week Thea brought in a poster to share the blessings in her life. She talked about the different people in her family and important and memorable events that have happened. Then the class had the opportunity to ask questions about what she has shared.This is the first time for children to speak in front of a group and present their work. For some, being the center of attention is wonderful and for others a little more challenging. For the listeners, they get a chance to ask questions about the poster. This does not include giving similar experiences about themselves, which is sometimes difficult. You have to begin your question with who, what, where, how , why, or did! This is only a time that we talk about the presenter.Today the class was most interested in the puppet theater Thea received for a present. She must have fielded at least 10 questions on the subject. When Thea's presentation was finished, everyone wanted to know when it would be their turn to talk about themselves. They are very excited.
Jill Clark, January 23, 2009
For the months of January and February we have been focusing on the idea of "Blessing" inspired by the book God's To Do List. This week Thea brought in a poster to share the blessings in her life. She talked about the different people in her family and important and memorable events that have happened. Then the class had the opportunity to ask questions about what she has shared.This is the first time for children to speak in front of a group and present their work. For some, being the center of attention is wonderful and for others a little more challenging. For the listeners, they get a chance to ask questions about the poster. This does not include giving similar experiences about themselves, which is sometimes difficult. You have to begin your question with who, what, where, how , why, or did! This is only a time that we talk about the presenter.Today the class was most interested in the puppet theater Thea received for a present. She must have fielded at least 10 questions on the subject. When Thea's presentation was finished, everyone wanted to know when it would be their turn to talk about themselves. They are very excited.
Jill Clark, January 23, 2009
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Blessing in a Period of Financial Crisis - D'var Torah: CBI Board Meeting - December 16, 2008
As you no doubt recall, one reason for distributing the book God’s To-Do List to every member of CBI during Rosh Hashanah was to create the possibility of a multi-month, collective CBI learning experience around themes in the book. The idea to use themes from a book in a given year (or more or less) for CBI wide reflection grew out of the notion of systemic, non-compartmentalized thinking which our staff has been trying to imbibe through our grant with the Legacy Heritage Foundation and from experience gained from our Shabbat Connections initiative, which is now proceeding in expanded fashion into its second year.
Perhaps you have noticed a banner set up in the courtyard on Sunday with the name of the “theme of the month,” or the interactive poster in the lobby on which teachers, committee heads or any CBI member can post their own contributions to the collective conversation, or the CBI GTDL blog on which folks can share as well. You may have noticed a bulletin article by Shelby Apple who receives a tiny grant funded stipend to coordinate the GTDL project. We have just begun this experiment in community wide learning. I am sure we will learn as we go better ways to extend and deepen the discussion and include more folks in it. Your ideas are welcome.
The second chapter of GTDL is “Bless.” The Mishnah Tractate which deals with the topic of blessings and prayer is called Brachot, meaning blessings. One of the many intriguing passages in Mishnah Brachot struck me as both challenging and particularly pertinent to the current global climate of financial woe. The mishnah says not only are there specific words of blessing to recite for the many blessings we experience in our lives – holidays, happy moments, celebrations, food and drink, the experience of nature’s beauty (the ocean, a rainbow, a tree), encounters with wise people or friends, and the like, the good news, as it were – but, says the mishnah, one is required to say words of blessing upon hearing bad news as well.
We are required both to bless the good news and bless the bad news. It occurs to me, in the face of so much apparently bad news these days, and therefore so many opportunities to fulfill this odd injunction, it might be worthwhile to reflect on what it might mean to do so. Here are some of the ways I would pose the question as I invite you to jot down on the reflection sheets any thoughts you have at the moment on the matter and let me know what arises for you as you ponder it in the days ahead. I expect that circumstances will allow us all a good amount of time for further pondering.
Obviously, many people are suffering or will suffer due to the forces of this prolonged economic downturn. However, in what ways does this financial crisis contain blessings? On personal, communal, national, and global levels, where are there sources of blessing or potential blessing?
On all these levels I see an opportunity to recover our sense of higher values and greater virtue. If and when we collectively move from not only blaming those who acted corruptly, deceptively, and immorally to an admission of collective responsibility for the degree to which we too were willing to profit from a system built on greed, we may then be able to seek those higher values, our “greater angels.”
When the rabbis in the Gemara discuss the mishnah’s odd injunction that we must bless both the good and the bad, they suggest that the reason may be that long term good often arise from bad circumstances. That is, when we bless the bad we really are blessing the potential for a benign, even if difficult to envision, future.
Along this line of thinking, the educator Parker Palmer, in a recent interview with Krista Tippet, on the Public radio show Speaking of Faith, opined that we may have entered one of those curious times in history when ideals and self interest correspond, where we will be forced to shift our emphasis away from the value of acquiring more stuff to the value of a life of service where humility replaces avarice, where we seek to establish and cultivate a culture of trust, and the like. If so, maybe the seeds of good do inhabit tough financial times and warrant our words of blessing.
Perhaps you have noticed a banner set up in the courtyard on Sunday with the name of the “theme of the month,” or the interactive poster in the lobby on which teachers, committee heads or any CBI member can post their own contributions to the collective conversation, or the CBI GTDL blog on which folks can share as well. You may have noticed a bulletin article by Shelby Apple who receives a tiny grant funded stipend to coordinate the GTDL project. We have just begun this experiment in community wide learning. I am sure we will learn as we go better ways to extend and deepen the discussion and include more folks in it. Your ideas are welcome.
The second chapter of GTDL is “Bless.” The Mishnah Tractate which deals with the topic of blessings and prayer is called Brachot, meaning blessings. One of the many intriguing passages in Mishnah Brachot struck me as both challenging and particularly pertinent to the current global climate of financial woe. The mishnah says not only are there specific words of blessing to recite for the many blessings we experience in our lives – holidays, happy moments, celebrations, food and drink, the experience of nature’s beauty (the ocean, a rainbow, a tree), encounters with wise people or friends, and the like, the good news, as it were – but, says the mishnah, one is required to say words of blessing upon hearing bad news as well.
We are required both to bless the good news and bless the bad news. It occurs to me, in the face of so much apparently bad news these days, and therefore so many opportunities to fulfill this odd injunction, it might be worthwhile to reflect on what it might mean to do so. Here are some of the ways I would pose the question as I invite you to jot down on the reflection sheets any thoughts you have at the moment on the matter and let me know what arises for you as you ponder it in the days ahead. I expect that circumstances will allow us all a good amount of time for further pondering.
Obviously, many people are suffering or will suffer due to the forces of this prolonged economic downturn. However, in what ways does this financial crisis contain blessings? On personal, communal, national, and global levels, where are there sources of blessing or potential blessing?
On all these levels I see an opportunity to recover our sense of higher values and greater virtue. If and when we collectively move from not only blaming those who acted corruptly, deceptively, and immorally to an admission of collective responsibility for the degree to which we too were willing to profit from a system built on greed, we may then be able to seek those higher values, our “greater angels.”
When the rabbis in the Gemara discuss the mishnah’s odd injunction that we must bless both the good and the bad, they suggest that the reason may be that long term good often arise from bad circumstances. That is, when we bless the bad we really are blessing the potential for a benign, even if difficult to envision, future.
Along this line of thinking, the educator Parker Palmer, in a recent interview with Krista Tippet, on the Public radio show Speaking of Faith, opined that we may have entered one of those curious times in history when ideals and self interest correspond, where we will be forced to shift our emphasis away from the value of acquiring more stuff to the value of a life of service where humility replaces avarice, where we seek to establish and cultivate a culture of trust, and the like. If so, maybe the seeds of good do inhabit tough financial times and warrant our words of blessing.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Chapter 2 - Bless
This month and next, we will be reading Chapter 2, Bless.
Chapter 2, Bless, tells us that there are three ways of fulfilling a life with blessing:
1. Bless some thing or some action
2. Count your blessings
3. Ask God’s blessing
Ideas for God’s To-Do List – Bless
1. What are the blessings in your life? To whom do you owe thanks for them?
2. Think about the “bless” stories in Chapter 2. Do you have stories to share about blessing?
3. Bless your children, your spouse. You might need to explain why you are doing it beforehand.
4. If you are on a committee at CBI, create an activity or program in which you can create or be a blessing.
5. Bless your extended family and your friends.
6. Bless your home. Make it a sanctuary, a safe place, a retreat.
7. Bless our country.
8. If someone gives you a great service, ask the person of the name of his/her boss and write a thank you note.
9. Ask God’s blessing for the food you eat, safe journeys, and healing.
10. Ask Rabbi Dan or Rabbi Tom or a respected friend to offer blessings from God at times of need.
11. When someone asks you for your blessing, give it.
12. Think of yourself as a blessing, you are!
As a continuation of this process, we invite you to share your ideas/stories/creations with the rest of the CBI community. We have begun a God’s To-Do List blog spot to promote the sharing of our experiences. You can find it at, http://cbigodstodolist.blogspot.com. If you would like to post your experiences with this chapter on the blog, please e-mail me at shelbyapple@yahoo.com. We would also like to feature an individual or family every month in the new God’s To-Do List section of our bulletin. If you or your family has had an experience you’d like to share, please let me know. Also, please make sure to check out the CBI lobby for our traveling display. Feel free to tack up your experiences and ideas for others to read.
Here is just a sampling of some additional BLESS ideas which come from the CBI preschool teachers during a BLESS brainstorm session:
- Encourage use of blessings for food at home- video, send home informationand words
- Blessing for each class
- Attitude of gratitude- gratitude journal, different blessings
- Friends as a blessing
- Take photos of blessings for the children- visual journal
- Slideshow of blessing drawings/art
- Poster of blessings
- Shehekiyanu- new things in life
- Count your blessings- how to appreciate
- Blessing tree or bush in the classroom- kids bring in blessing notes fromhome
- Learn all the different blessings for food
- Pick a blessing theme for class blessing- use as a welcome at beginning ofyear
- In corporate family blessings on dreidel shield
- Representative art display or mural
- Shabbat blessings
If you have any questions, please feel free to contact me at shelbyapple@yahoo.com. I’m looking forward to hearing about all of your ideas, progress and blessings!
Now as we start on this journey together in hopes of walking with God, let’s put one foot in front of the other…and begin!
B’Shalom,
Shelby Apple
God’s To-Do List Coordinator
Chapter 2, Bless, tells us that there are three ways of fulfilling a life with blessing:
1. Bless some thing or some action
2. Count your blessings
3. Ask God’s blessing
Ideas for God’s To-Do List – Bless
1. What are the blessings in your life? To whom do you owe thanks for them?
2. Think about the “bless” stories in Chapter 2. Do you have stories to share about blessing?
3. Bless your children, your spouse. You might need to explain why you are doing it beforehand.
4. If you are on a committee at CBI, create an activity or program in which you can create or be a blessing.
5. Bless your extended family and your friends.
6. Bless your home. Make it a sanctuary, a safe place, a retreat.
7. Bless our country.
8. If someone gives you a great service, ask the person of the name of his/her boss and write a thank you note.
9. Ask God’s blessing for the food you eat, safe journeys, and healing.
10. Ask Rabbi Dan or Rabbi Tom or a respected friend to offer blessings from God at times of need.
11. When someone asks you for your blessing, give it.
12. Think of yourself as a blessing, you are!
As a continuation of this process, we invite you to share your ideas/stories/creations with the rest of the CBI community. We have begun a God’s To-Do List blog spot to promote the sharing of our experiences. You can find it at, http://cbigodstodolist.blogspot.com. If you would like to post your experiences with this chapter on the blog, please e-mail me at shelbyapple@yahoo.com. We would also like to feature an individual or family every month in the new God’s To-Do List section of our bulletin. If you or your family has had an experience you’d like to share, please let me know. Also, please make sure to check out the CBI lobby for our traveling display. Feel free to tack up your experiences and ideas for others to read.
Here is just a sampling of some additional BLESS ideas which come from the CBI preschool teachers during a BLESS brainstorm session:
- Encourage use of blessings for food at home- video, send home informationand words
- Blessing for each class
- Attitude of gratitude- gratitude journal, different blessings
- Friends as a blessing
- Take photos of blessings for the children- visual journal
- Slideshow of blessing drawings/art
- Poster of blessings
- Shehekiyanu- new things in life
- Count your blessings- how to appreciate
- Blessing tree or bush in the classroom- kids bring in blessing notes fromhome
- Learn all the different blessings for food
- Pick a blessing theme for class blessing- use as a welcome at beginning ofyear
- In corporate family blessings on dreidel shield
- Representative art display or mural
- Shabbat blessings
If you have any questions, please feel free to contact me at shelbyapple@yahoo.com. I’m looking forward to hearing about all of your ideas, progress and blessings!
Now as we start on this journey together in hopes of walking with God, let’s put one foot in front of the other…and begin!
B’Shalom,
Shelby Apple
God’s To-Do List Coordinator
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